Six Months..

It was the dark age. Or at least that’s how I like to call it.

Kind of like a Disney movie where they manipulate our minds that the evil power is about to win, and suddenly everything changes to its best!

The days were dusky and silent, as I was still hassling with endless asylum procedures and formalities on one hand and struggling with sleepless nights and anxiety attacks on another hand. I was depressed, sad and alone but at the same time looking for the brighter tomorrow with excitement.

And in one night, the movie changed!

I never expected myself to work in a bar; not because there’s something wrong with it, but because I know nothing about the field. The maximum drink I used to have in Lebanon was a Mexican beer and I used to call myself alcoholic; LOL.

I was literally dump, and it’s not something that I was ashamed of, but at the same time, I was eager to learn; eager to resist my ignorance as much as possible and find something by which I can slay the eternal minutes of noiselessness and monotony.

So, away from the drama and to make the story short, I applied for a job at one of Amsterdam’s famous bars, which has lots of good reviews because of their friendly staff, tasty snacks and wide range of cocktails. I knew this bar from before, and one day I actually spent the entire afternoon reading what the staff said about themselves on the website; but never imagined that I could be one of them. Of course by then I had nothing to do in my life except wait for my asylum interviews to start, make stupid hand bracelets from wool, or attend a Dutch language class to take photos and post them on my Instagram. I wasn’t even allowed to work, not to mention that I was living in the far south of the country side. So basically, working there was kind of impossible, but the light in my life shined at one day as I pressed Send on my application, and within 2 weeks I was behind the bar serving the famous Dutch beer and fighting with my little knowledge that I have, in order to survive the working hours. And thus the challenge began..

The bar was mostly busy and crowded; I mean I can imagine that: located in the center of Amsterdam, sunny days, lots of tourists, good vibes… which made the 1st stage of working even harder than I expected, but then again; when life gives you Lemon, you don’t only make Lemonade; but you shake them and make cocktails as well.

My knowledge grew up day by day as the months passed with ups and downs leaving flashes in my heart which I will never forget (and not only because I write everything on my diary).
Today, I celebrate 6 months of working in a foreign country, which for me is another achievement in my success journey of moving to The Netherlands. And on a side note, as I was asked to introduce myself for the bar’s website, I promised to develop my writing skills as I move further in my life. Thus, I am sharing all my moments, from the best to the worse ones; from the happiest to the saddest; the silliest and the funniest… hoping that every memory reaches its proprietor, even though I will be talking anonymously.

Let’s see

. I remember I was very excited when I sent my CV to apply for the job, so I immediately texted them on Facebook afterwards. The good thing is that they replied.

. When I was going to the interview, I stood next to my closet for an hour and didn’t know what to wear; eventually, it was raining, so I had to put on a jumper.

. During the interview, I was asked if I want to drink something and I said No Thanks, but deep down I really wanted a coffee.

. Also during the interview, I felt awkward because I had a fresh nose piercing and it was still dripping stuff. I guess they didn’t notice.

. First night behind the bar, someone asked for my number. My face turned red as my manager was standing and smiling.

. Also during my first night, I went home very disappointed and wanted to quit because I don’t understand anything. My bf told me to be patient.

. First time I poured a white beer, it was all foam. And it was for my manager.

. My friends came over to support me in my first week. They ordered “Ariana Grande” as a cocktail. I spent hours by the system searching for that. The punks were laughing at me from behind.

. During the first month, we had cocktail training in Rotterdam and we were supposed to go by cars with the entire team. I took the train because I was shy to mention that I had a fear of highways and crowded cars.

. One time a client asked me about my favorite drink, and I said Latte.

. Another time someone ordered Irish Coffee, I told him “Sorry, but we only have Italian coffee”

. On a busy Saturday night, I served Gin Tonic without Gin. Luckily, he was my friend. LOL

. One day I was working shirtless; people where pinching my nipples as I collect glasses. To be honest, I enjoyed the attention.

. On King’s Night I fell off the stairs with a crate of empty glasses. I cried for a moment because I remembered my mom and wanted her to be next to me until the pain goes. I was afraid.

. I had a panic attack one time while working. By then, I was still not accepting the fact that anxiety is not something to be timid of. I didn’t tell anyone; but instead I went to the toilets and cried.

. A Dutch lady one night fell in love with my ass and wanted to touch it. I didn’t mind.

. First time I made a cocktail, I used gin instead of vodka and no body noticed.

. A guy on Grindr chatted with me on my first night. Today, we are good friends.

. I had a crush on one of my colleagues, but never mentioned it yet.

. One night a lady liked my necklace. I gave it to her immediately and told her to remember me.

. First time I made shots; my manager gave me a grade of 1.5 over 10.

. Lots of clients asked for my number, but we never actually met afterwards.

. During Pride week, I didn’t take off my shirt because I had an infected nipple piercing and it looked very weird.

. Also during Pride, I gave a beer to a guy on my account because I liked his tattoos. When I finished work he was waiting for me outside. I apologized about going out because I was too tired.

. I broke lots of glasses. Like we say in Arabic “salty hands”.

. One day a client wanted to ask me out and I refused. He threw his drink on me. 🙂

. I was caught kissing downstairs several times. To be honest, I didn’t feel awkward about it. I mean, is a kiss something forbidden?!

. I burned a portion of “Bitterballen” once.

. I was making snacks one day and gave them to a wrong table with 2 guys. They thought I was flirting with them.

. I still don’t know how to carry a tray full of glasses with one hand. One day, I was trying, and I spilled all the drinks on a cute little girl. Everyone including her started laughed.

. I got addicted to Pina Coco and Strawberry Cheesecake cocktails, and sweet shots.

. When I arrive at work, I really enjoy hugging everyone. I like physical contacts, what can I say..

. Most things I like to do: giving surprise birthday shots and shaking cocktails.

. Most things I dislike to do: collecting empty glasses on Saturdays and carrying trays

Want more?? I guess that’s enough for now. Maybe the rest will come later..

Harsh, rough, awkward, surprising, funny, and even sad stories; all made my heart filled up with joy as I was writing and flashing back all what happened ever since I started. I was very upset in the first few days, I was very upset when I received all the negative comments and feedback about my work. One day I even decided to move away because of a small conflict. But today, I am happy to be having this big family with whom I share my laughs, my tears, my cuddles, and of course my work.

Six months have passed away.. and another six are due to come. From spilling drinks on clients as everyone laugh, to the silent tears inside me as I remember my home-country. From sharing shots behind the bar as everyone is waiting to get served, to the pure kisses as we arrive and depart. From the first cup of coffee as we open, to the last sip of left over juice bottles as we close. From going back home as the sun is rising, and coming back as the sun is setting.. From the people who admire you as you work, to the neutral clients who just want their beer..
From the ups and downs, to the best stuff and the worst one..
Behind the bar,
I will never surrender..